


The Unexpected

by srmarybadass



Category: True Blood
Genre: M/M, gratuitous acts of badassery committed by a woman, random historical inaccuracies again, terrible punchline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-23
Updated: 2012-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-30 00:12:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/325643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/srmarybadass/pseuds/srmarybadass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their mistake was remaining in Madrid for too long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unexpected

**Spain, 1487**

 

Their mistake was remaining in Madrid for too long. When the Church had begun the purging of heretics and sinners, Eric and Godric thought they were removed from such danger. After all, they kept their heads down, glamored those they did not kill, and generally lived quietly. They enjoyed Spain- the climate, the culture- and felt no wish to leave. The supernatural community they associated themselves with protected their own. But the ever-present danger began to creep towards them.

 

This night, though, they remained unaware. So far.

 

“We've been invited to another ball,” Godric informed Eric soon after sunset.

 

The tall blonde vampire sighed. “Must we?”

 

“Getting tired of squiring around all the ladies, are you?” Godric teased.

 

“Getting tired of their mothers,” Eric grumbled in response.

 

“Perhaps we should leave soon,” Godric's voice grew serious. “Soon the fanatics who call themselves Christians will notice that we do not attend church on Sunday mornings, and that alone is enough to condemn us.”

 

“They would condemn us for _that,_ when there are so many other interesting things to condemn us for?” Eric said in a tone of voice that had to have been a sin according to the Church.

 

“Stop that,” Godric chuckled, slapping away Eric's hands from where they were creeping up the hem of his shirt. “We've much to do this evening.”

 

A pounding on the front door of the house grabbed their attention.

 

“Perhaps we should start by answering that,” Godric said, walking out of the bedroom and down the hallway. Eric started tying up his boots, reveling in the relaxation that lay in the promise of blood and lovemaking.

 

Then he heard a piercing scream.

 

In an instant, he was in the front hall. His supernatural eyesight quickly processed the scene before him- the mob had forced their way into the house, bearing torches and chains, and he couldn't see Godric, he _couldn't see Godric-_

 

Without thinking, he flung himself into their midst, roaring and slashing out with fist and fang, five centuries of experience in battle coming to a head as he tore apart priests and soldiers.

 

“Eric!” he heard his maker shriek. The sound was full of fear, and Eric was distracted for enough time for silver chains to be flung around him. He thrashed, but the metal burned through his clothes to his skin, and all his senses went on overload as he was dragged out into the night.

 

He was heaved into the back of a cart, mortals running around them, screaming various slanders, most along the lines of “demons”, “heretics”, and “sodomites”. Eric hissed and snarled like a savage beast- it was his only defense. Then Godric was flung in next to him, looking for all the world like a suffering child, and Eric's anger increased tenfold.

 

They were dragged through the torchlit streets as a mob followed alongside the cart, throwing whatever they could at them. Godric almost pitied the people, in their narrow-minded fear, but one look at the torturous burns in his child's flesh was enough to harden what remained of his heart completely. If he was not so incapacitated, he would rip them all apart- every last one- for what they had done to Eric.

 

“Take the demons inside,” the head priest ordered, once they had reached the church that Godric knew to be the headquarters of the Inquisition. “To the dungeons.”

 

The beefy soldiers easily hauled Godric inside. Eric, who was larger and much more ferocious in his struggle, proved to be harder, but the silver weakened him nearly to the strength of a mortal, and he was dragged, kicking and hissing, down stairs and into a stone dungeon.

 

“Filthy minions of Satan,” the head priest spat at their feet. “You will burn at dawn, like torches for righteousness and a warning to your fellow demons.” With that, he turned on his heel and strode away, leaving the soldiers to shut the heavy door behind him. The demons were left alone, silver chains still wrapped around their arms and legs.

 

“We have...the whole night,” Eric gasped, fighting the pain valiantly.

 

“Eric,” Godric rasped, and Eric's heart broke a little. “I'm not so sure we're going to make it out of this one.”

 

“Of course we are,” Eric replied, voice surprisingly steady for one facing death.

 

“Eric, we're bound in silver, locked in a hole in the ground, and surrounded by a rather large mob of fanatics clamoring for our deaths.” With a herculean effort, the elder vampire managed to edge his way over next to Eric, laying his head against his Viking's muscular shoulder.

 

Eric sighed, and waited. He thought about praying, but didn't think he remembered how. Eventually, as the hours passed and dawn approached, the blinding pain from the silver began to recede to the edges of his mind. As long as he was able to focus on the gently weight of Godric's head against his shoulder, he could almost forget that dawn was mere minutes away, and they would be summoned soon. At least he and Godric would go together.

 

Then he heard the oddest sound.

 

“Godric,” he whispered. “Do you hear-”

 

His maker had already sat up, ears attuned to the great door. A normal human might not have heard anything, but these were two old vampires, and they could quite clearly pick up on everything that was happening outside.

 

“It sounds like a roar,” Godric postulated, perplexed. “Like a lion.”

 

“What the hell would a _lion_ be doing here? And now?” Eric asked. But he heard the same sound. Deep, guttural roaring- and screaming, lots of screaming. After a minute, there was silence, then the hollow clicking of a key turning in the lock. The door creaked open, and in strode a young woman who was both completely naked and covered in blood.

 

“Gentlemen, I apologize for not arriving sooner,” she said briskly as she bent down to unwind Godric's chains. He waved her towards Eric.

 

“Him first.”

 

The girl nodded and quickly pulled the heavy silver chains out of Eric's flesh, tossing them aside like a bundle of rags. She did the same to Godric, before taking one of the sharp edges of the silver and slashing her wrist with it.

 

“Drink,” she said, pressing the fresh wound against Eric's lips. He was too hungry and too weak to question the gift of blood, so he drank eagerly, not bothering to question the strange taste or the woman's nudity. Just as he began to feel his wounds closing, she took away her wrist and offered it to Godric, who gratefully fed, taking less than Eric.

 

“Who are you?” Eric mumbled, exhausted.

 

“Sleep, it's dawn,” the woman told him. “I will keep watch.”

 

Eric found himself unable to do anything but obey, and he fell into darkness, curled protectively around Godric.

 

 

When he awoke, there was a lion sitting near the door. Eric poked Godric as quietly as he could. To his credit, the ancient vampire woke almost instantly.

 

“Um...excuse me?” Eric began, not knowing what else to do. The lion whirled around and began to shift. After a moment, the girl who had aided them the night before was crouching on the stone.

 

“Good. You're awake. How do you feel?” she asked.

 

“Better,” Godric answered carefully.

 

“Here. Put these on,” she ordered, flinging two friar's robes at them. “We must get out of here quickly. I do not know how much longer we will be left alone.”

 

“Who are you?” Godric asked.

 

“Why are you naked?” Eric inquired.

 

The young woman sighed. “My name is Regina Leon. I'm a shapeshifter.”

 

“Of the House of Leon?” Godric asked. “Shifter royalty,” he explained to Eric.

 

Regina nodded.

 

“Why are you helping us?” Eric hadn't kept himself alive for five centuries by simply trusting every magical being that came along.

 

“The Inquisition killed my family,” Regina explained quietly. “If I can save anyone else from that, I will.”

 

Godric nodded, accepting this explanation, which meant that Eric did too. “Do you have a plan?”

 

“Of course,” Regina grinned. “It starts with getting out of this dungeon. Then, we get out of this city. After that, we get out of this country.” She picked herself up off the stone floor and opened the heavy wooden door. Eric and Godric followed outside. The church looked like a war had been fought in it- bodies lay strewn everywhere. Most were in pieces. Blood stained the stones.

 

“Did _you_ do this?” Eric asked.

 

Regina nodded. “Quickly, out the back. I don't know when their reinforcements will arrive.” She led them to a small door that opened into an alleyway. “Stand back.” She closed her eyes and shimmered into a war-horse.

 

“I think we're supposed to get on,” Godric said.

 

The horse stamped its foot impatiently. Eric jumped on first and gave Godric a hand up. The vampires hung on tightly as the horse ran off through the darkened city streets, seemingly knowing its own way.

 

 _“Halt!_ ” came the cry from a sentry. Eric instinctively yanked on the reins, and the horse stopped.

 

“May we help you, soldier?” Eric asked, keeping his head down and his hood up.

 

“Where are you coming from?” the soldier questioned. “There's been a massacre at the Church of the Three Marias, half a mile back.”

 

Eric raised hood and met the eyes of the soldier, layering his voice with glamor. “You will forget you saw us tonight. You did not detain anyone. As far as you are concerned, there has been no suspicious activity in this area. Do you understand?”

 

The hypnotized soldier nodded.

 

“Best be moving along then, yes?” Eric prodded.

 

“Off you go then, sir. Have a nice night.”

 

The three supernatural beings galloped onwards. Eventually, the horse stopped in front of a large house, that, were it not for the boards across the windows and the crosses painted over the doors, would have looked like the luxurious home of a nobleman or wealthy merchant. Dismounting, the vampires walked around to the back door, where Eric punched through the barricade. The scent of dust and death wafted out.

 

“Sorry for the smell,” Regina said after she had assumed human form once again. “It has been abandoned for months. Come in, it's safe.” She walked inside, where she proceeded to put on clothing, much to the consternation of Eric, who had recovered sufficiently to appreciate her body fully.

 

“To whom does this house belong?” Godric asked, pushing the hood back.

 

“It was my family's house,” Regina said softly. “When the Church came, they boarded it up until they could decide what to do with it.”

 

“Are you the only Leon left?” Godric asked quietly.

 

Regina nodded. “The last of the line.”

 

“What happened?” Eric broke in.

 

Regina sighed and spoke, voice dead and monotonous. “They spied on us for months- how, I never found out. After they had enough evidence that we were demons, they waited until we were all gathered under one roof for my sister's wedding before storming the house and dragging everyone away. Those they did not kill here in self-defense, they burned the next day.”

 

“How did you escape?” Godric asked quietly.

 

“When the mob came for us, I was upstairs. I heard the screaming, so I shifted into a bird and fled. I thought the rest of my family would do the same.”

 

“When was this?” Eric inquired.

 

“Three months ago.”

 

Godric patted Regina's hand lightly. “I am so sorry.”

 

She shrugged. “Come on then. We need to get out of this godforsaken country.”

 

She dragged them upstairs and rifled through several wardrobes. “The Church did not touch anything here- they thought everything was cursed, but at the same time, they could not bear to burn such wealth. I think they are waiting for sufficient time to pass before swooping down like the vultures they are.” Her voice dripped with hatred, dark and deep.

 

“Here, these should fit,” she said, tossing a set of relatively fancy clothing at Eric.

 

“So what is your plan?” Godric inquired.

 

“There is a ship leaving for France at dawn,” Regina informed them. “We will be on it.”

 

“France?” Godric blinked.

 

“Dawn?” Eric inquired.

 

Regina nodded, throwing out some breeches and a shirt for Godric. “The overland route is too heavily watched by the Church, trying to catch heretics like ourselves fleeing the c-”

 

“We're not heretics!” Eric protested.

 

“Fine then, heretics like myself and sodomites such as yourselves fleeing the country,” Regina said with a raised eyebrow. Eric muttered something to himself, but failed to correct her.

 

“You do know that we burn in the sun?” Godric checked.

 

“Of course.”

 

“We will need a cover story,” Eric broke in.

 

Regina nodded and stood up, examining both vampires. “Can you both speak French?”

 

“Fluently,” Godric assured her.

 

“Good. Eric, you are now Alain, baronet of Monteaux. I am your wife Marcela. We have just been married and are returning to your home in France.”

 

“And myself?” Godric inquired.

 

“You are Jacques, our loyal manservant,” she told him.

 

Godric nodded gamely.

 

“Right, now you look the part,” she said, adjusting Eric's cravat slightly. “Come with me. I need some help moving trunks.”

 

She led them through the deserted halls of her ancestral home in silence. When they entered the main ballroom on their way through, Godric instantly caught the scent of old blood, gritty and rusty. Leon blood.

 

“Godric, go through the back door and into the stables. There is a cart there. Bring it to the rear. Then, go find me a horse.”

 

Godric nodded, amused at taking orders from a young woman, but going along with it anyway.

 

“Eric, you get to heft things,” Regina informed him. She led him to a room filled with trunks and crates. “Find something you can fit into. I'll get a steamer trunk for Godric.”

 

After some rather acrobatic maneuvering, Eric managed to get a giant packing crate through the door and onto the cart, where he proceeded to line it with straw. Godric, somehow, had actually acquired a horse, which he expertly hitched up.

 

“Godric!” Regina huffed, carrying out a very large steamer trunk. “Can you get in this?”

 

The ancient vampire sighed.

 

“You practice while I run upstairs and get a few things,” Regina told him, feet tapping on the stones as she trotted inside.

 

“You trust her?” Eric asked Godric the minute he felt sure the girl was out of earshot.

 

“Implicitly,” his maker replied. “I knew her grandfather. He was an honorable man. And she herself has lost much. The girl is smart, Eric. She knows she is risking her life for us.”

 

“She is smart,” Eric agreed. “Much better than all those silly chits who think only of the latest fashions.”

 

“She is vicious,” Godric added. “Did you see the state of that church when she was through with it?”

 

Eric nodded. “Indeed. She would make a decent vampire.”

 

“Sorry, gentlemen, but I enjoy spilling blood, not consuming it,” Regina informed them, loading a small satchel on the cart. “Now. We must get you in your hiding spots here, because there may not be time or place at the shipping docks.”

 

Eric heaved a mighty sigh, but clambered into the straw-lined crate. “Are you sure the sun will not touch me?”

 

“Positive, and I will have you taken down to our cabin immediately,” she said. “Curl up. There, that's a good boy.” She spread several bedsheets over him, much to Eric's indignity. Godric giggled.

 

“Godric, I swear, I will get you for that,” the muffled growl came.

 

“I would like to see you try,” Godric replied, still smiling.

 

“I would not be laughing if I were you,” Regina informed him. “Your turn next, Jacques.”

 

For the first time in nearly a thousand years, someone had a laugh at Godric's expense and lived to tell the tale.

 

 

 

Eric could not see anything, but vampire hearing was more than enough to keep him updated on their surroundings. First, there were several horse noises and more than a few unladylike swear words as Regina maneuvered the horses onto the main road. Then, the alternating clicking of cobblestones- which jarred him at every possible opportunity- and the softer sounds of wheels going over dirt, as Regina drove them through the city. Finally, they came to a halt, and the footsteps of several men surrounded the cart.

 

“Are you a passenger on this ship, madam?” one asked Regina.

 

“Oh, yes sir,” Regina's voice came out in a disconcertingly feminine and breathy manner. “My husband, sir, he purchased the tickets for our passage?” There was a rustle of cloth, and Eric presumed that tickets were pulled out. “We should be on your roster- Baronet Alain and Lady Marcela of Monteaux?”

 

There was silence, and Eric guessed that the man was studying his list. “Indeed, madam. You're right on here.” Eric briefly wondered how she had pulled that off, but quickly decided that Regina's methods were not to be questioned. “Where is your husband?”

 

“Oh, he is around somewhere, probably taking one last look at Spain before we depart,” Regina giggled. “We were just married last week, you know.”

 

“Blessings, madam,” the man- first mate? Quartermaster?- said. “May my men help you with your trunks?”

 

“Yes, please, if they could be taken to my cabin...?”

 

“Won't that be a tight fit?”

 

“I believe my husband reserved one of the larger rooms for us,” Regina informed him. “In fact, he may have gotten two, so that our manservant will not...disturb us.”

 

The man did not inquire further, and Eric felt himself being hefted off the cart and onto the ship. It was a very bumpy ride, with frequent stops, but eventually he was put down. A thunk next to him followed a few minutes later, and Eric assumed it was Godric.

 

“Eric?” he barely heard his maker whisper. “Are we in the cabin?”

 

“I believe so,” Eric breathed in reply, knowing the ancient vampire would be able to hear him.

 

“How do you think Regina managed tickets?”

 

“I'd rather not think about it.”

 

“Gentlemen?” Regina's voice entered the cabin, along with the slam of a shutting door. “It is nearly dawn. I need to leave you in there for the day, just in case. All right?”

 

“All right,” Eric said before dropping off to sleep.

 

 

He awoke when Regina pried the lid off his crate. “Sorry about that,” she grinned down at him. Godric, it seemed, had already been freed of the steamer trunk. “We have been sailing all day, and are nearly out of Spain's reach.”

 

“Good,” Eric grumbled. “Now, let's get on deck and find someone to nibble on. I'm hungry.”

 

“Eric, no,” Godric said authoritatively. “We're on a ship, and we will be on this ship for five days. People will notice if something is amiss.”

 

“Like death,” Regina put in.

 

“Godric, I'm not as old as you,” Eric said quietly. “I can't go five days without feeding.”

 

There was a moment of silence as everyone contemplated the situation.

 

“Oh, _all right_ ,” Regina sighed. “You can feed off me. A little. You too, Godric. But not at the moment. I am wearing my best dress.”

 

“And you look lovely, my dear,” Eric grinned salaciously. Regina just gave him a look that would freeze a mortal man dead in his tracks.

 

“Well, why don't we all go up on deck?” Godric proposed eagerly. “Get some night air-”

 

“I thought you did not need air,” Regina broke in.

 

“It's still nice,” Godric explained. “Besides, I love the sea.”

 

“Come on then,” Regina rose from her seat. “Let us go act like one big happy family.”

 

In an instant, Eric was at her side, looping their arms together.

 

“So gentlemanly, Alain, so gentlemanly,” Regina smiled. Together- with their loyal manservant trailing loyally behind them- they made their way up onto the deck, where most of the passengers were milling about, introducing themselves and making connections to occupy themselves with over the next four days.

 

Regina was either a naturally sociable woman, or she was the best actress Godric had ever seen. Godric, personally, would be willing to place money on the latter.

 

“I have a lovely wife, haven't I?” Eric's voice came from somewhere above his left ear.

 

Godric smiled. “Indeed.”

 

“We owe her a debt.”

 

“Wherever we go, Eric, we will establish a kingdom,” Godric told him quietly. “From that, we shall repay her.”

 

“I do not like the way everyone is looking at you,” Eric growled softly.

 

“They are looking at me? I would think that you are the one catching their eye,” Godric replied. “After all, you are a head taller than everyone else here.”

 

Eric's response was to slouch.

 

 

Late the next night, Eric and Godric found themselves alone on a more secluded part of the deck. Regina had banished them from the cabin so that she could bathe- which was odd, considering that when they first met her, she was naked and bloody, but then again, it was _Regina._ And anyway, Eric didn't mind all that much.

 

“I love the sea,” Godric smiled at him, looking for all the world like a joyful little boy. Eric wrapped his arms, encircling the body that was so small compared to his own frame.

 

“You smell like the salt air,” Eric informed him.

 

“And you smell like fish,” Godric replied.

 

“Are you complaining?”

 

“Not in the least.”

 

Eric grinned and leaned down into a gentle kiss. Godric smiled into it and rose to his tiptoes so that Eric's beck wouldn't cramp. Just as fangs were about to come out, they heard a shocked gasp and sprang apart.

 

 

“ _Perverts!”_ the sailor cried. “Perverted _demons-”_

 

 

Suddenly, there was a flash and the sailor was thrown over the side rather unceremoniously.

 

“Honestly, do I have to do everything around here?” Regina sighed.

 

“Man overboard!” came the cry, and footsteps hurried towards them.

 

“ _Shit,”_ Regina muttered before tearing at her garments and ripping her hair out of its bun. Then, to the surprise of both Eric and Godric, she began to cry.

 

“What's happened here?” the ship's first mate barked as three sailors lowered a rope over the side.

 

“The man, he- he tried to force himself on me,” Regina sobbed. “And my- my husband, he-”

 

“I heard my wife crying, sir,” Eric broke in, wrapping a protective arm around Regina. “So I rushed over, only to see that _knave_ assaulting her. So obviously, I pulled him off her and- well, I fear I do not know my own strength sometimes.”

 

“Certainly,” the first mate nodded. “You, boy!” He pointed to Godric. “Did you see anything?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Godric said softly, playing the part of loyal manservant to the hilt. “I was with Lord Alain when I heard the Lady Marcela screaming. I rushed over with the Lord and saw your sailor attacking her.”

 

Regina continued to sob, adding in some hiccups for good measure.

 

“Madam, Sir, I apologize a thousand times for this,” the first mate said gravely. “He will be flogged and thrown in the brig for the remainder of the journey. If there is anything you need, or that we may do for you, do not hesitate to ask.”

 

“Right now, I fear my wife needs rest,” Eric said haughtily, leading Regina away and snapping his fingers for Godric to follow. Once they were safely back in the cabin, Regina grabbed the nearest object- which, ironically, was a Bible- and smacked both Eric and Godric about the head.

 

“ _Idiots!_ ” she hissed. “I go through all this trouble to get our asses out of Spain alive, do you think that perhaps you could at least _try_ to stay out of trouble?”

 

“Sorry, Regina,” Eric and Godric apologized in synchronicity.

 

Regina sighed. “Well. At least this gives us an excuse to remain in the cabin for the rest of the trip.” She stood, grabbed her satchel, and marched into the smaller adjoining room.

 

“Where are you going?” Eric asked.

 

“In here!” the reply came. “I do not particularly want to witness your debauched activities!”

 

The door slammed.

 

Eric looked at Godric.

 

Godric looked at Eric.

 

They shrugged.

 

 

Three nights later, the shoreline of France came into view just after dark. Most passengers had retired to their cabins, but the shapeshifter and her undead companions were seated on deck, staring at the shore with eyes that could pierce that darkness better than any human's.

 

“What will you do once we land?” Godric asked Regina.

 

“Go to Paris,” she replied. “The Leon name still has some sway in certain circles. I am sure I can find a place. And yourselves?”

 

Godric and Eric exchanged a look.

 

“Paris sounds nice,” Eric began carefully.

 

“Yes...Paris,” Godric said. “Regina, would you allow us the honor of accompanying you to the great city?”

 

“Why gentlemen, I would be delighted,” Regina said dryly, but with enough of a smile to let them know she meant it.

 

“You know, Regina, I never expected to meet someone like you out of this whole ordeal,” Godric said.

 

“You probably were not expecting to be captured by a mob of homicidal fanatics,” Regina replied.

 

“Well, of course not,” Eric smiled. “After all, nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition.”


End file.
